Note: This entry is more of a reminder to myself so if your time is too precious, you can move along and scroll down… fast. HEHE

When I was a child, I cried when I heard and saw the news that Saint Pope John Paul II died. I was just an elementary student back then and maybe I cried because everyone was sad and that I liked His face. Right then and there, I made a simple promise to myself that if an opportunity to see the next Pope comes by me, I will grab it and take a hold of it for as long as I can so I can see the next Pope and cherish every moment of it. Moreover, I promised myself to try to finally change my ways as a Roman Catholic.

5 days ago, Pope Francis paid His last stop, the Philippines, a visit as part of his Papal Visit to Asia; but most because He wanted to heal the broken hearts, families, dreams and faith of people affected by Super Typhoon Haiyan a.k.a. Yolanda in the Visayas (Leyte and Tacloban, as ground zero, to be exact). He came with His visit themed as Mercy and Compassion. In His 5-day visit, He thought to be more sensitive and considerate of the poor, to have mercy and be compassionate of not only the poor but of everyone around you. Moreover, He raised His concerns to social imbalance in the Philippines and asked for the government officials to reject any form of corruption. I, not only learned so much from His trip here, but was also blessed with the chance to see Him not only once but thrice in His 5-day visit. Seeing Him felt magical, overwhelming, heartwarming, and altogether unfathomable. It renewed my faith in such a refreshing way. His smile lifted up all my burdens. His smile was a smile only heaven can make. I felt so blessed having given the chance to see Him upfront. It felt surreal yet inexplicably blissful. Seeing Him was a moment of pure bliss.

SWEEPING DECLARATION: I have neither been a good Roman Catholic practitioner nor a good believer lately, and I will not use the Pope’s visit as an excuse for why I haven’t changed my ways yet; but I can say that He has brought a different kind of air in my life. And from now on, I will try to be a better Roman Catholic just like what I promised myself when I was still a kid crying over Saint Pope John Paul II.

The song is entitled “Gloomy Sunday” which was written first as a poetry that later became a heartbreak ballad according to urban legend. It was written by Hungrian-born Seress (née Rudi Spitzer) in 1933 whom had taken his life away. Rumors suggest that the song was about an intimate partner who had left him in despair that led to the creation of the song, while some said it was about war and apocalypse. As the song mainstreamed, it did not catch much of an audience; however, two years from when it was released (through a recorded version by Pál Kálmar), it struck listeners that somehow lead them into committing suicide. From then on, it was banned in Hungary. England joined the bandwagon of banning the song; however, it did reach the U.S. causing the song to be declared by BCC as “too upsetting” for the public and only its instrumental version was allowed to be played in the radio in early 1940s.

The song is basically about a regular Sunday that turned out to be horrifyingly sad and blunt. The song suggested that the Sunday afternoon, as a setting, was the day he decided that it was the best time to take his life. The song described of a man unfortunately seeing no more hope in tomorrow, seeing only the darkness and not the light, expecting not a single joy in such a bright and sunny day. In the song, he expects no one to be sad for him, that he had wanted to sacrifice his life all along. It described of a man bidding everyone farewell, feeling not a single regret; it described of a man feeling sorrowful of a loss that cannot be replenished through the kindness of time – as if he had put an end to all his hopes of ever being well.

I personally think the song was magically horrifying. It was made out of love but not in the conventional sense. It showed how powerful love can be – how love can manipulate your state of mind and being. It showed that a person, no matter how sane he is, can snap in one second because of a tragic loss. I feel sorry for the writer having to take his life away because of a girl who did not meet him halfway through their relationship. I feel sorry having to read such a depressing song because of one small mistake.

As I leafed through articles related to the song, it got me thinking that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Something beautiful might be bestowed upon you to appreciate or something jaw-dropping and all at once magnificently astounding, and see nothing but a bunch of scribbled lines called “art”. The man in the song clearly did not see the beauty in that gloomy Sunday. He was eaten up by his own wishful thinking with a girl he truly desires. He did not see the beauty of tomorrow – of being given the chance to start over, of correcting what has been wronged, of being answered for questions that have been left hanging, or to just be hopeful that everything will someday fall into place and that everything that have happened will simply connect and all make sense.

I do not fancy the idea of suicide simply because it does not resolve anything. It only takes away your life not being able to get the answer to questions that might have been the reason behind committing such an act. Yes, there will be times that everything will come at you like a blur and everything will be all messed up. However, I believe in the concept of “tomorrow”. It feeds the curiosity in us as powerless humans, the hunger for knowledge to know more about life. Future holds so much that none of us are yet to discover and it will not unfold for us unless we let the mischievous events in our lives take over our critical thinking minds. However, who am I to speak when I have not walked a mile or two in their shoes? I just pray that light be given to those who are suppressed of experiencing happiness and inner peace.

Source of the lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/billie+holiday/gloomy+sunday_20017999.html

Other sources: http://mentalfloss.com/article/28525/songs-killer-strange-tale-gloomy-sunday

I guess that’s part of loving. You embrace everything about your partner - from the majestic of the majestic points of her personality down to her smallest of the smallest of the smallest of the smallest flaw you could ever pinpoint. You accept everything there is to accept - her past, present and future. You regret nothing.

You just close your eyes, hold her hand and never let her go. You breathe, feel, learn, and dream with her. And you know what makes it challenging? You get to do that everyday for the rest of your life.

Where’s the challenge? To never get tired of doing it, to still get excited everyday, to still be scared that one day you might lose her for good, to still fall in love with her the way you fell in love with her the first time, to still keep the fire burning inside your heart, to still keep that love alive.

And that is what you call love, my friend.